We are deviating off of the subject this month. I am wanting to ask, a question that is on some of our hearts!
A dear friend and I had a conversation yesterday, where she asked how do you know when it is the one? How do you know when God reveals to you, that this man before you, it the one? I was puzzled and didn't know how to answer her. Can you help?
What do you, as a Mayden, look for in a future husband? What are the most important things that you would want, if you had a choice? Please give me some examples, and share. We are a bunch of puzzled young ladies here, and need some advice!
Married woman please comment, and engaged as well! Please share! We need some help!
God bless!
Laura H
5 comments:
I didn't really know that DH was the one. The very first weekend we were together (after knowing each other for about 3 days) he said if I was ready, he'd marry me right then. I was flattered to the extreme!
At the time, I had been looking for a purpose in my life (I had not yet found God) and DH promised to give me purpose; to lead me and guide me down the path of life. Now that I know a little more, this is exactly what a husband should do for his wife and children; he is there to be the leader of the family.
I would say the best advice is to talk about absolutely everything (we did that), make sure you are best friends (we did that), and pray a lot, both seperately and together (we didn't do that). And don't be afraid to take the plunge! Have faith that God knows what he's doing.
God Bless!
A wise professor I once had told us "Don't ask yourself if you can spend the rest of your life with this man; ask yourself if you can spend the rest of your life without him." It's the answer to the second question that is revealing.
Laura,
While I think the most important is to approach this prayerfully, carefully, without setting a long list that needs to be checked off ('OK so he must be this and this and this...), it is a *good thing* to have some basic qualities defined. Those should be important ones: kindness, responsibility, a firm and loving connection to God. However, keep in mind that the right man for you might be nothing like you imagine him. It's important to be open-minded. And taking consult from your mother/married sister is always excellent!
This is not much help and probably does not make much sense, but I just knew my husband was the one I was supposed to marry.
Anna raises some very important points in her comment. There really is no way to make a list of what traits your future husband may or may not have, other than a God honoring man who studies and follows the Word, of course. I had an ideal in my head of what sort of man my future husband would be and my husband wound up being NOTHING as I thought he would be.
Here is a great guideline, written by the girl talk ladies - http://girltalk.blogs.com/girltalk/2005/09/q_a_2.html.
Also, prayer is essential. Although - as you know Laura - I am not married, but I have been able to tell who is right or not to even begin a courtship with through praying and hearing from God. Not that it is to be some super-spiritual decision - sometimes we just use common sense, such as whether this guy meet biblical standards and if we are attracted to him. But sometimes we need extra clarification from God.
Don't worry, He will make it clear; it may be through a clear answer, or just by the inner peace you feel :).
That's my 2 cents anyway. Sorry my answer's a bit all over the place! I look forward to hearing from more married/engaged ladies.
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