Hello, dear young ladies! It has been a long time since my last post here on 'Mayden Fair', as I'm extremely busy these days. But the subject we are currently discussing, trustworthiness, is so important that I just can't pass it by!
When I say 'trustworthy', do you know what immediately pops into my mind? The following words from Proverbs 31: 'The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain'.
The Proverbs 31 woman is a mature and accomplished adult. Can you imagine how much time, effort, prayer, sweat, pain, tears and challenges she must have been through, to merit this wonderful, truly priceless praise: the heart of her husband trusts in her! Fortunately, we have time to learn.
Trustworthiness isn't a character trait that is gained in a matter of days or weeks. It is difficult to achieve and extremely easy to lose. I will share with you a few things I have been guilty of, in the past. Let's just say that if I met 16-year-old Anna today, I wouldn't trust that young lady! Why? Because I would know that she makes promises and breaks them, that she makes commitments and then backs out. I would know, because anyone in contact with Anna would tell me that. I would also know this young lady - well, she wouldn't lie about anything serious, but she wouldn't hesitate to tell what we call 'white lies' (very dangerous term!). It was more than habit; it was second nature. Oh and gossip!.. You could never confide in Anna, because you'd know it would be like a radio broadcast. In a matter of days, everyone would know about your secret.
It took years until it actually started to bother me, and when it did and I finally started working on this specific character trait - which, I tell you, wasn't easy - you know what was most painful? Here I am, going beside myself to be genuine and sincere... and people were still afraid to trust me! How would they know I have changed? Only time could show. I know that some people who knew me back then still don't trust me completely.
As unmarried ladies in waiting, we have the gift of time to work on our characters, both for today and for the future. If you get married someday, don't think marriage will change you overnight. You will still be the same person, with the same flaws, that can be a hindrance to your marriage. Won't you wish, then, you had set aside more time to personal growth and developing a noble character, in your maiden years? And if you don't get married, you still don't want to be labeled as untrustworthy, right?
Work on the virtue of trustworthiness! It will be a priceless investment, akin to planting a garden which will give you a rich and generous bounty in the years to come.
Some practical advice. Pay attention to the following things:
* Making a promise or a commitment you know you can't stick with. Better say 'no' right away, even if it seems rude. Some of my untrustworthiness actually stemmed from the inability to say no.
* Telling 'small', 'insignificant' lies. You don't have to reveal everything, always, but if you do say something, make sure it's the truth. When in doubt, simply remember God knows you through and through anyway, you can't hide from Him!
* Gossip. Goes without saying. Get away from any people or activities if you feel they are encouraging you to engage in gossip. Talk about others only when the conversation revolves around something constructive ("how do you think we can better help Mary with her garage sale?"). Beware of idle conversations about other people.
Good luck on your path of becoming virtuous and trustworthy young women!