Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Trustworthiness: cultivate this virtue!

Hello, dear young ladies! It has been a long time since my last post here on 'Mayden Fair', as I'm extremely busy these days. But the subject we are currently discussing, trustworthiness, is so important that I just can't pass it by!

When I say 'trustworthy', do you know what immediately pops into my mind? The following words from Proverbs 31: 'The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain'.

The Proverbs 31 woman is a mature and accomplished adult. Can you imagine how much time, effort, prayer, sweat, pain, tears and challenges she must have been through, to merit this wonderful, truly priceless praise: the heart of her husband trusts in her! Fortunately, we have time to learn.

Trustworthiness isn't a character trait that is gained in a matter of days or weeks. It is difficult to achieve and extremely easy to lose. I will share with you a few things I have been guilty of, in the past. Let's just say that if I met 16-year-old Anna today, I wouldn't trust that young lady! Why? Because I would know that she makes promises and breaks them, that she makes commitments and then backs out. I would know, because anyone in contact with Anna would tell me that. I would also know this young lady - well, she wouldn't lie about anything serious, but she wouldn't hesitate to tell what we call 'white lies' (very dangerous term!). It was more than habit; it was second nature. Oh and gossip!.. You could never confide in Anna, because you'd know it would be like a radio broadcast. In a matter of days, everyone would know about your secret.

It took years until it actually started to bother me, and when it did and I finally started working on this specific character trait - which, I tell you, wasn't easy - you know what was most painful? Here I am, going beside myself to be genuine and sincere... and people were still afraid to trust me! How would they know I have changed? Only time could show. I know that some people who knew me back then still don't trust me completely.

As unmarried ladies in waiting, we have the gift of time to work on our characters, both for today and for the future. If you get married someday, don't think marriage will change you overnight. You will still be the same person, with the same flaws, that can be a hindrance to your marriage. Won't you wish, then, you had set aside more time to personal growth and developing a noble character, in your maiden years? And if you don't get married, you still don't want to be labeled as untrustworthy, right?

Work on the virtue of trustworthiness! It will be a priceless investment, akin to planting a garden which will give you a rich and generous bounty in the years to come.

Some practical advice. Pay attention to the following things:

* Making a promise or a commitment you know you can't stick with. Better say 'no' right away, even if it seems rude. Some of my untrustworthiness actually stemmed from the inability to say no.

* Telling 'small', 'insignificant' lies. You don't have to reveal everything, always, but if you do say something, make sure it's the truth. When in doubt, simply remember God knows you through and through anyway, you can't hide from Him!

* Gossip. Goes without saying. Get away from any people or activities if you feel they are encouraging you to engage in gossip. Talk about others only when the conversation revolves around something constructive ("how do you think we can better help Mary with her garage sale?"). Beware of idle conversations about other people.

Good luck on your path of becoming virtuous and trustworthy young women!


PandaBean said...

"Little White Lies" are my biggest struggle at this point in my life. I've always been afraid to show ignorance, so I would lie. I would do bad things and get caught, so I would lie to get out of it (One time I got my brother in trouble when it was really me!), I work in retail (only 2 more days!) and "the customer is always right, even when they're wrong," so I've lied at work to "soothe" a customer.
I will still catch myself lying to my husband and family, but I am doing /much/ better in this area. It has become so second nature to me to "smooth things over" or "sweep them under the rug" that I don't even notice if I'm lying to "keep the peace". Now when I catch myself, I try to confess to whomever I lied to right away. Sometimes this means I say something and then before my sentence is finished I recant!

This has been a huge struggle for me, especially since it's almost expected in a retail establishment to get the customer to get what they need, but don't think they want. Once I'm home full-time, I pray this tendancy will fade away. It is only by the grace of God that I may over come this weakness.

God Bless!

Laura H said...

Amen, Sister! I have a problem with exagerations. I don't lie, but I exagerate the truth! Please pray for me!

Laura H.

Anna S said...


I used to work as a cashier in a supermarket, so I can understand you about annoying customers! It's so natural to want to smooth things over.

Very soon, you'll be happily at home. I'm so excited for you!

Jaclynn said...

This one article here has been the most helpful for me so far. I know that one of my main problems is my "inabilty" to say no sometimes. Not too long ago, an older lady I know (who is like a gramma to me) was talking about gossip and what we should say if someone starts to gossip.
Btw, to all who contribute to Mayden Fair...I really appreciate your efforts. And I was wondering if there is an email address or someway to submit an article? I have written one and am interested in contributing sometimes.
Solo Deo Gloria!

Anna S said...


If you want to send us an article, and/or if you're interested in joining our team, you can write to me to:

Thank you! We appreciate your interest.

Laura H said...

If you want to submit articles, for Mayden, you can email to me as well, at: We welcome your thoughts, and articles!

Look forward to it!
Laura H

Laura H said...

BTW, you are welcome to join. Just send me your email, and I will send an author invite, to have you join us! We would love to have you!

Laura H